The DailySmirk
Friday, July 17, 2026Truth took the day offUpdated whenever reality gets too confident
World Oddities

Gym Reports January Crowd Has Reserved Every Treadmill for February

Management expects availability to return suddenly around January 12.

Management expects availability to return suddenly around January 12.

A local gym announced that every treadmill had been claimed by residents beginning a new chapter.

Staff are preparing for the annual unexplained disappearance of water bottles and motivation.